You Can’t Heal in Chaos

For decades, I tried to heal in what I now see as ‘the chaos.’
I told myself I was doing everything right working hard, showing up, being strong, keeping busy. But behind the scenes, I was drowning. Not just in anxiety, but in noise. In people. In expectations. In the belief that if I just held on a little longer, peace would somehow find me.

But peace never came because I was never still enough to let it.

There was chaos everywhere.
The working environments that pushed me into burnout.
Friendships that felt one-sided me giving, them taking.
Relationships I fell into because I thought being single was the problem. You know, the fairytale lie we’ve been sold: that if we just find “the one,” all will be well. Spoiler: it wasn’t.

Then there were the narcissistic siblings, the people-pleasing patterns, the constant pressure to keep everyone else happy while I quietly crumbled inside.

That was the external chaos.
But the internal?
That ran deeper.
It was the stories I’d been told (and repeated to myself) for years:
“You’re not enough.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You need to try harder.”
I absorbed them. Believed them. Became them.
And so the storm wasn’t just around me — it lived in me.

The truth is, I was scared.
Scared to stop.
Scared to change.

But I was more scared of never feeling enough, or calm, or anxiety-free again.
I was scared that I’d spend the next twenty years just treading water barely coping, constantly trying to feel sane.
So that fear? It started to speak louder than the fear of change.

And that’s when something shifted.
The flame was lit to overcome my fear of anxiety to stop running from the feelings that were actually a voice from within, screaming for me to come home to myself.
I wanted to unlearn the behaviours that kept fuelling the chaos.
To make new thought patterns.
To write a new chapter one where I wasn’t constantly stuck in survival mode.

It wasn’t until my early 50s that I made the decision to stop.
To pause.
To take a breath and choose a different path.
I stepped back from everything that wasn’t helping me heal the job, the roles I’d outgrown, the false identities, the noise.

I started again from scratch.
Not with a perfect plan.
But with a clean canvas and a promise to myself.

I began peeling back the nonsense the shoulds, the guilt, the fear and started reconnecting with the version of me that had been buried beneath it all.
She didn’t need fixing.
She just needed space.
And finally, she had it.

That’s when my healing truly began.
Not through pushing.
Not through performance.
But through stillness.
Through slowing down.
Through choosing peace even when it felt unfamiliar.

If you’re in the thick of it right now, please know:
You’re not broken.
But you might be trying to heal in chaos.
And it’s okay to stop.
To step back.
To choose you.

You don’t need to earn your healing.
You just need a space safe enough to begin.

In my next blog post, I’ll share how those first few months felt how I quit my job (I am not telling you to do that but for me it was a must), made a promise to myself, and started to mend both my life and my inner world. It wasn’t easy. But it was the beginning of everything and the best decision I made for myself in decades.

Blog Post Title Two

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Three

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.